Chapter 7: Creation

Mulder told himself again that he wasn’t scared.  He’d been through regression hypnosis before – if anything *this* time it should be easier.  So why was he so scared?  Last time it had not involved Scully.  Mulder tried to relax and open up his mind.  He needed to find the truth about that test.

***********

Scully pulled open the drawer of the filing cabinet.  The file on the test – which her Uncle Daniel had given her – gave the date as 18 February 1994.  During that time they had been on a case in Washington state.  Now if she could just find the case file maybe she would find the answers she needed.  She searched for a few minutes, then she found it – case X-1.17-090975.  She pulled it from the drawer and sat down in Mulder’s chair to read it.  Twelve men had died in similar unexplained circumstances in and around the town of Wilson over a period of four years.  They were sent to investigate the thirteenth such death.

XXXXXX

“Why did the case upset you?”  Dr. Curtis prompted gently.

“At first it was because of Skinner’s attitude when he give me the assignment.”  Mulder answered.  “I’ve never seen him nervous, but he was then.  Nothing about the case made sense.  Thirteen deaths before they call anyone in to investigate – that just doesn’t happen.  Then, when we got there, the blood samples and medical records of the previous victims had all disappeared.  There were no answers, we even had a hard time finding questions.  Things only started to look up when I found out that Thad lived there.”

“Who’s Thad?”  Dr. Curtis asked.

“Dr. Thad Narcote – we worked together in Violent Crimes.  He was a great analyst and a good friend, but he got tired of the work and quit about four years ago.  He felt that working as a relationship counsellor was more worthwhile.”

“You didn’t find anything strange about that?”

“Not for him.  Thad always was a bit strange – I guess that’s why we were such good friends.  I don’t think that Scully liked him.  She was very cold with him.”

“Why do you think that was?”

“She thought he was a suspect in the deaths.”  Mulder smiled.  “Thad wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“What happened then?”

“Then….It gets kind of fuzzy.  For some reason the case didn’t seem important any more.”  His brow creased in confusion.  “Scully….”  He smiled fondly.  “She seemed…it was like I was seeing her with new eyes.  She was so beautiful – standing with the sun behind her made her hair looked like spun gold.”  He took a deep ragged breath.  “I just wanted to tell her how much I loved her – but she kept going on about the case.  I thought I was going mad, so I went to see Thad.  I thought that he might be able to help me tell her how I felt.  He said…that the best thing would be for us to go away…alone together.  He said…that he had a cabin in the woods that we could borrow.  I..uh…I spoke to her, but she didn’t seemed thrilled by the idea.  I talked her into it and we drove up there.  It was wonderful.  Thad had arranged a meal for us but we only picked at it.  Sitting in front of the fire…she kissed me.  That night was incredible – I told her that I loved her…and she said that she loved me.”  He smiled.  “We spent the whole of the next day wrapped up in each other.  We walked in the woods..laughing…kissing…

messing around like a couple of kids.  Nothing mattered except her.”  He stopped and his brow creased as he remembered.  “I woke up at some point in the night and she wasn’t there.  I…uh..I looked out of the window and saw her sneaking out into the woods.  For some reason it made me really angry.  I thought that she was going out to meet a man.  I followed her and saw her talking to someone.  I was aware that she was pointing her gun at him – but I was still angry.  I..I can’t understand…I thought that she was sleeping with him too.  I was irrational.”

XXXXXX***

“You went out to see a man?”  Mulder screamed at her.  Scully shook her head in denial.  “Liar!”  He spat out roughly.  His hands grasped her shoulders brutally.

“Mulder, this isn’t real!”  Scully insisted but it was no good, he was like a crazed animal. 

“I’ll teach you to cheat on me.”  He yelled as he shook her violently.  He moved to kiss her but she tore out of his grasp and ran through the woods away from him.  He caught up with her easily and spun her around to face him.  His face was garish and twisted into an evil fury, an effect enhanced by the shadows from the trees.  He raised his arm and struck her.  She fell out of his grasp onto the compacted earth of the woodland floor.

////

Scully jolted out of the flashback with a start.  Her skin was slick with perspiration and her pulse was still racing.  She looked back down at the passage of her report which had caused the memory to surface.

‘I assume that an intruder entered the house while I was still in town.  Mulder then attempted to fight him off but in the process received a blow to the head – which knocked him unconscious.  A state in which I found him some time later.  I called an ambulance and, on arrival at the hospital, he was officially declared as being comatose.’ 

Now why would *that* have caused her to remember something so different?  Unless the passage in the report was a fabrication.  Great – if she had lied in her report then that would only hamper her chances of finding the truth now.  Why had she lied?  What ugly truth had she wanted to hide and *who* had she wanted to hide it from?  Since she was caught in a web of her own lies and Mulder could not remember anything, then there was only one person left who might know (and actually tell her) – Skinner.

XXXXXX

Skinner’s assistant was not at her desk when Scully arrived – so she went straight to the inner door and knocked hard.  Skinner’s voice called out for her to come in.  She did so and strode over to stand in front of his desk.  She held both of the files at her side.

“I need to ask you a question.”  She began.  He leant back in his chair.

“I’m listening.” 

“You assigned me and Mulder to a case in Washington State in February ’94…”  Skinner tensed and his eyes darted to a spot over her shoulder.

“Before you go any further Agent Scully,”  A voice from behind her said quietly.  “I think you should be made aware of my presence.”  Scully spun around to face Cancer Man.  He was sat in a chair in the shadows at the back of the office, his cigarette smouldering it’s noxious fumes into the room.  She had been so worked up when she entered that she had not noticed him or the odour. 

“Fine – I’ll ask you instead.”  She spat out.  “What did you do to Mulder?  We went off a case perfectly fine but you did something to him – some kind of test.  A drug was given to him which caused him to have irrational mood swings and then to lapse into a coma.  Which could have killed him as it killed the men whose deaths we were supposedly sent to investigate!  Why did you do it to him?”  He stood up and looked down at her.  She refused to be intimidated by him. 

“*I* didn’t do anything to him.”  He replied silkily.  Looking at his face – half-hidden in shadow – Scully was jolted into another memory.

//////

She was standing in a dimly lit corridor.  She was exhausted – Mulder was lying in a coma and she had no idea what to do to save him, he was going to die – her vision was blurry but she saw a man walking away from her.  He only looked back at her once, just before he turned the corner.  It was him – Cancer Man.  He gestured towards her feet.  Looking down she saw a package.  Inside was a piece of paper and a vial of blue coloured liquid.  Written on the paper was one word ‘anti-dote’.

//////

The flashback faded and Scully was back in Skinner’s office facing Cancer Man.  She looked up at him in shock.

“You saved him!”  She exclaimed.  He smiled nastily.

“Why would I do that?”  He turned away from her to snub his cigarette out in the ashtray on the table.

“Because you were friends with his father and there *is* honour amongst villains!”  She spat out viciously.  He spun back to face her.  She faced him with a challenge in her eyes, they locked to his.  He was angry and – for the first time – she was really afraid of him.

“You and Mulder have more reasons to thank me than you could ever imagine.  I’ve saved both your lives *many* times!”  She recoiled  from him.  He sat down and lit another cigarette.  He drew on it shakily, but his composure was quickly recovered.  “You wont find the truth Agent Scully.” 

“I’ll find it.”  She said with determination.  With a venomous look at the silent figure of Skinner – who had been sat at his desk watching the scene with grim fascination – she left the room.

“Will she find what she’s looking for?”  Skinner asked at length.

“She doesn’t even know *what* she’s looking for – even if she did she’d never believe it” 

XXXXXX****

“Where *can* I reach Dr. Narcote them?”  Scully demanded – trying not to sound as irritated as she was (and failing).  The person on the end of the line replied sweetly that she did not know where to find Dr. Narcote.  He had moved away from his former practise in Wilson in early 1994.  “Thanks.  You’ve been a great help.”  Scully replied sarcastically and put the phone down with more vehemence than she should have.  There was a knock on her apartment door. 

Scully answered the door at the second knock.  Keeping it on the security chain, she peered through the gap.  Skinner stood in the soft light of the hallway.

“May I come in?”  He asked quietly.

“I don’t think I have anything to say to you.”  She said and began to close the door – ignoring the imprudence of shutting a door in her boss’ face.  She didn’t get a chance to – he stuck his foot in the gap.

“It’s what *I* have to say to you that matters.”  He said with determination.  Scully was so shocked by his tone that she let him in.  He moved to stand on the other side of the room.  They eyed each other like fighters. 

“I have an apology to make.”  He began awkwardly.  “I sent you and Mulder on that case even though I knew that they had something planned.”  Scully stared open-mouthed.

“All this time – you knew.”  She was incredulous.

“I don’t know what they did to Mulder, but I was aware that he might not be coming back.  I should have warned you.” 

“Thanks for caring.”  Scully said sarcastically.  “What are you doing here now?” 

“You need to get in touch with Dr. Thad Narcote.”  Scully stiffened.

“Where can I find him?”  She demanded.

XXXXXX**

“What else do you remember?”  Dr. Curtis asked softly after a long pause in Mulder’s speech.  He sighed deeply and continued.

“I..uh..I don’t remember much after I hit her.  It’s..uh…kind of…like still photographs.”  He took a sharp breath.  “Um..I remember chasing her through the woods…she fell on a branch.  I..uh…I…I..caught up with her…she pulled her gun on me but..uh……she didn’t shoot…she dropped the gun.  I was struggling with her…then was a sharp pain in my head and everything went black…I was falling into the black.”  He shook his head, clearing it.  “I don’t remember anything else until I woke up at the hospital.” 

XXXXXX**

When the man answered, Scully pushed her way past him into the room.

“Thad Narcote?”  She demanded.  He closed the door with a smile and turned to face her.

“Miss Scully!  This is a surprise.” 

“Don’t give me any crap – I want the truth.”  He calmly sat down on his couch.  Scully glared at him.

“The truth?”  He asked quizzically.  “Which truth it that?”  Scully drew her gun and pointed it at him.

“I don’t want games – I just want answers.  Are you going to give them to me?”

“Are you going to shoot me?”  He asked curiously.  “I suppose you had enough guts to shoot Mulder, why shouldn’t you be willing to shoot me.”  Scully’s mouth dropped open, but she snapped it closed.

“How do you know about that?”  She demanded.  Krycek had been the only witness to that – at least as far as she knew.

“I know most things.  Including the answers you’re after, but you’re not going to shoot me because then you’ll never know.”  Scully did not lower the gun.  “They were interesting lies in your report – I liked the one about the intruder who knocked Mulder unconscious.  I didn’t think that you’d have the strength to do that, you’re constantly surprising me Miss Scully – or may I call you Dana?”  She continued to glare at him.  “Or maybe not.”  He said ruefully.  “Why did you lie – that’s the answer you really want isn’t it?  That one is *very* simple.  You were trying to protect Mulder from ever knowing that you’d slept together – so that he wouldn’t know how much you loved him.”  Scully’s mouth dropped open again and this time she just gaped at him.  “Have you seen the surveillance tape?”  Narcote continued with relish.  “It’s certainly worth watching – I’ve seen it a number of times.”   He leered at her.

Scully’s temper flared – she brought the gun around in a powerful arc and struck him with it.  He was flung violently backwards.

“You bitch!”  He exclaimed, clutching his cheek.  She had torn the skin and blood was flowing through his fingers.

“Shut up!”  She yelled at him and took aim again.  “Is there any more I should know? – and tell me the truth this time.”   

“Have you ever been pregnant Miss Scully?”  He asked bitterly – trying to blot the blood on his face with a handkerchief.  Scully could hear her Uncle Daniel’s voice in her head: ‘Have you ever been pregnant Dana?’ – that day in England when he gave her the file and video tape. 

“Why?”  She demanded.

“You don’t know the answer?”  He asked with mock-innocence.  “Maybe you should find out.” 

“I don’t like you Narcote.”  Scully told him and left.

He waited until after the door slammed, then he picked up the phone and dialled a number.

“I’ve just had a pretty little visitor.”  He said when the person picked up.

“What did you tell her?”  Cancer Man demanded.

“Nothing that will help her.”  Narcote replied with a smile.  He wiped the blood from his cut cheek and stared at the crimson stain on his fingers.  “Just enough to make her life hell.”

XXXXXX***

“When you came in here Dana and asked me to check if you’d ever been pregnant, I thought you’d gone mad.”  Dr. David Alexander said with laughter in his voice.  The petite red-headed woman sat opposite him smiled slightly but did not laugh.

“So have I been?”  She asked quietly.  He stopped laughing and looked at her assessingly.  This woman was not the Dana Scully he remembered from medical school.  He wondered what had happened to change her so radically.

“You really don’t know if you’ve been pregnant?”  He demanded incredulously.  As he took in her serious expression, he too grew serious.  He coughed nervously.  “The fact is that I would say that you have been pregnant at some point in the last two years.” 

Scully tried desperately to maintain her calm expression.  She had suspected this but to hear her fears voiced out loud still came as a blow to her system. 

“I would say that the pregnancy had progressed to full term but – judging by the marks on your stomach – it was a C-section delivery.”

“Marks?”  Scully questioned, she could not recall seeing any.

“They’re really faint – it looks like highly sophisticated surgery was used to cover them up.  I’m not surprised that you’ve never noticed them.”

“I should have noticed them.”  Scully said under her breath.

XXXXXX*****

Scully didn’t turn on the lights in her apartment, right now she felt better sitting alone in the dark.  Why had her uncle given her *that file*?  She had been fine when she hadn’t known about any of this.  She had been pregnant!  That child must have been born during her abduction.   What had they done to the child and then what had they done *with* it?  Her child – hers *and Mulder’s* child – was out there somewhere.  The thought of it sent strange shivers shooting over her. 

The video tape sitting on top of the TV caught her eye.  Her and Mulder making love – that’s what was on that tape.  How could she ever have forgotten something like that?  How often had she fantasised about doing just that?  All that time….alone in bed….wishing.  She loved him more than life – and he said that he felt the same – so why was she still sitting here alone?  Why didn’t she believe his protestations of love?  Mulder was smart enough to know his own mind – why not just go to him?  Because he was her partner.  Because he was her best friend.  Because the bureau frowned on office relationships.  Because it was supposed to rain tomorrow.  Because sky might fall in.  Because, because, because, because of the wonderful Wizard of Oz.  Because of this test and it’s result.  Because she was scared and making any excuse she could think of.  The wall of calm cracked.  At first it was a small crack – a tiny choked sob – but once the defences had come down it became a flood of tears.  She curled herself into a ball on the couch and sobbed her heart out.  The knock at the door was lost on her.

XXXXXX***

Mulder knocked a second time, but when he received no answer he took out his key and let himself in.  His eyes took a moment to adjust to the light level in the apartment, so he heard her before he saw her.  She was curled up on the couch, crying with more pain than he had ever heard in his life.  He fell to his knees next to her.

“Scully?”  He demanded.  She looked up at him with tear-stained eyes.

“Mulder!”  She exclaimed and threw herself into his arms.  They clung tightly to each other until her sobs had subsided.  Mulder moved so that he was sat on the couch and she was kneeling, curled up against him.  He swallowed.

“I went for regression hypnosis.”  He said quietly.  She moved away so that she could look at him.  Her eyes were puffy from crying and were full of repressed pain.  “I know what happened.  That video tape…what we did.”  He looked into her eyes – she was shaking her head slowly.

“They gave you some drug and it flipped your mind.  It made you think that you loved me.”

“I do.”  He insisted.

“I know.”  She answered quietly.  “But that’s not the worst of what they did.”  She said quietly, biting her lip.  Tears were once again flowing from her eyes.  She seemed to be measuring up how to word it.   “We..weren’t protected.”  He didn’t comprehend at first – he couldn’t understand the relevance.  “Mulder.”  She said lowering her eyes.  “When I was abducted I was nearly six months pregnant.” 

“What?”  He demanded – shocked.  She looked up at him, tears streaming.  She was shaking and rocking slightly.

“I was pregnant when I was abducted and when I was returned I wasn’t.  They took my baby and took my memory of it.”  She took a deep breath.  “Our baby.”  She said with an unnatural calm.  He stared at her.

“Oh God!  Scully!”  He gathered her into his arms and held her tightly.  The calm broke again. 

“Stay with me Mulder. Don’t leave me.  I need you so much.”  She groaned into his neck.  In the amidst of his pain Mulder’s heart grew lighter.  She’d said that she needed him – that meant so much more to him than if she’d simply said that she loved him.  Their desperation to cling to each other turned into desperate desire.  Their lips met in a kiss which bordered on violence.  Their hands searched and explored wherever they could reach.  Scully stood and led him into her bedroom – removing her clothes as she did so.

XXXXXX***

They stood naked nearly a metre apart – all desperation having left them.  Mulder reached out his hand and placed it against her stomach.  Gently he explored – fascinated that she had once been pregnant with his child.  Her hand placed over his drew him out of his reverie.  He looked up at her face, to find her watching him with a slight smile.  His hand slid from her stomach to the small of her back and he pulled her closer.  Their mouths met first in a gentle kiss, then – as their naked bodies touched – the kiss became more passionate.  He gathered her up into his arms and laid her down on the bed.  She sat up against the headboard and reached her arms out to him.

“I love you.”  She told him as he sank into them. 

“I love you too.”  He murmured into her hair as he kissed the tender skin of her neck, making her shiver.  She pushed him onto his back.  Straddling his hips, she lowered herself onto him.  She gasped at the sensation and arched her spine, forcing herself down further onto him.  Mulder groaned and grabbed at her hips to still them – as he fought for control.  Then *she* began to move and both of them were lost.  His hands moved from her hips to cup and mould her breasts.  Their breathing quickened and the air grew hot and heavy around them.  Scully flung her head back as the wave of light and sound and sensation hit her.  Her breath came in short gasping pants.  Mulder held on for as long as he could, but feeling her contractions around him, he finally lost the battle and gave himself up to the delirium.

XXXXXX**

A long time later they lay quietly together.  Scully tucked her head comfortably into the crook of his neck and lightly kissed his collarbone.

“I love you Mulder.”  She said softly.  She felt him move and looked up at him.  He was shaking his head.  He looked down at her.

“Not Mulder – Fox.”  He said in a mockery of her statement to Melissa. 

“Fox?”  She questioned, unsure of whether he meant it.

“Yeah.”  He said with determination.

“You’re sure?”  She asked, just in case.

“I’m sure.”  He laughed.

“Okay.  Then – I love you Fox.”  She said with feeling.

“I love you too Dana.”  He replied and kissed her deliciously.

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