Caught Between

Josh paused with his key in the air, not quite meeting the lock of his apartment door. Donna turned to look at him in time to see him close his eyes and exhale a tired, heartfelt sigh.

They’d walked back here from the White House – from the candlelight vigil for the kidnapped Zoey – in silence. The streets near his apartment had been empty, which had seemed so strange after the crowds and the tense atmosphere in the West Wing.

Donna had intended merely to see him to his door and then head home herself, but instead she smiled sadly as she took the key out of his grasp, unlocked the door and went inside. He duly trailed after her, shucking off his coat and dumping it unceremoniously onto the couch as he went. He slumped down wearily next to the discarded garment.

Donna stood over him, looking at him with concern clearly written on her face.

“How long since you’ve slept?” She asked.

“I caught a few… a bit… in the office…” He swept a hand through his hair as he spoke and closed his eyes again.

Donna shook her head and reached for his hand.

“Come on then.” She said. “Let’s get you into bed.”

His eyes sprung open and, despite his bone weary tiredness, he sent her a teasing look.

“That’s a generous offer, Donna, but this isn’t the best time…”

Donna rolled her eyes theatrically and tugged on his hand, pulling him to his feet.

“Trust me Josh, if I was offering you sex, you’d know about it.” She teased back without looking at him as she guided them to the bedroom.

“Would I now?!” He asked pointedly with a broad grin.

Donna stopped dead in her tracks and turned back to fix him with an intense look. His grin instantly faded.

“Yeah, you would.” She replied steadily and held his gaze for a moment.

Josh visibly swallowed. Donna smiled wryly and turned away again.

She dropped his hand as they got to the bedroom. Then turned to push him onto the bed. He fell awkwardly and tried to sit up, surprised as she sank to her knees and started undoing his shoes.

“What are you doing?” He asked, slightly panicked.

“I’m taking off your shoes.” She stated matter of fact, as if it should have been obvious, as she carried on with her task.

“Are you my mother now?!” He asked, his voice rising.

Donna was done with the laces on one foot and pulled off the shoe with a flourish before looking up at him. She shook her head.

“Josh, Joshua…” She sighed. “Let’s clear this up. I’m not your mother, your wife or your lover.” She stated. “I’m your assistant… and your friend,” She smiled wryly. “I hope.”

He looked at her for a long moment before smiling and reaching out a hand to rub fondly at her shoulder.

“Always.” He replied.

She beamed a grin up at him and he couldn’t resist grinning back.

She returned to his other shoe, tugging on the laces. He tried to stop her.

“Come on, stop!” He demanded playfully, but she’d already pulled the laces loose and swiped the shoe off with another flourish.

She threw it over her shoulder and he cracked up laughing.

“I’m sure I’ve done literally nothing to deserve you!” He exclaimed.

“That much is true.” She replied, smiling genuinely.

He sobered up and looked at her seriously.

“How long since YOU slept?” He asked.

Donna shrugged as if it didn’t matter.

Josh sighed at her and tapped the bed next to him. She frowned at him.

“Come over here…” His voice caught as if he’d surprised himself. “…to sleep.” He clarified quickly.

“I should go home…” Donna demurred, standing up suddenly.

“Donna.” Josh said firmly. “Sleep here tonight.” She looked wary. “Just sleep Donna. I don’t know about you, but I’m too tired to even take my clothes off to sleep right now.”

Donna bit her lip thoughtfully.

“Take off your jacket.” She finally replied.

Josh looked taken aback and Donna rolled her eyes again.

“At the very least, you shouldn’t sleep in your jacket.” She said, as she took off her coat and slipped off her shoes.

While Josh did as he was told (shucked out of his suit jacket and tossed it to the floor), Donna folded her coat neatly on a chair and tucked her shoes under it.

Josh scooted over the other side of the bed as Donna approached. He looked away as she sat down, then lay down next to him. They both lay stiffly on their backs and looked at the ceiling.

“This is weird.” Donna said after a few minutes.

“Yeah!” Josh laughed and turned his head to look at her.

Donna rolled her head to look at him too. Her face fell.

“Will they find her? She asked seriously.

“I don’t know.” He replied gravely. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen now.” He looked back at the ceiling.

Donna rolled over and took his hand, resting her forehead on his upper arm. Josh pulled his arm free and wrapped it around her, tucking her into his side. She snuggled in, throwing an arm over him, and he closed his eyes to blink back the sharp, sudden sting of tears at the back of his eyes.

He felt the sobbing come from her, even though she didn’t make a sound. He tightened his grip and continued to force back his own tears.

Eventually her sobs slowed and her breathing evened as she fell into an exhausted sleep.

Josh rested his head against her head, and fell asleep too.

It didn’t last long. He woke up after a couple of hours, not feeling remotely refreshed.

The sensation of a soft warm body curled against him threw him at first but then the remembered. Donna still had an arm thrown over his fully clothed stomach; her hand curled around his hip. Her breath was soft and warm against his neck, stirring up the old thoughts that he was determined to ignore.

“I’m not your mother, your wife or your lover.” He remembered her saying.

It was too much input right now. Too much with the situation with Zoey and the President, and the other President!

He gently disentangled himself from her. He left the bed without looking back. He grabbed his jacket from the floor and put it on. He should shower or change, or, whatever. He swiped at his forehead in frustration. He was gonna go back to the office.

He started to leave but turned back at the last minute.

He looked back at her. She’d turned and was hugging tightly onto one of his pillows. A lock of hair fell across her face.

Josh crossed back to the bed and reached out to her. He brushed his thumb across her temple, pushing the strand of hair back from her eyes.

“Always.” He heard himself say.

He shook his head to clear it, and left.

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