An Unjust Peace
July 23rd 2010
12:31 PM
Josh and Donna were kissing.
She was sat on his lap on the couch in her office, and they were kissing. They’d been doing it for some time. It was lunchtime. They knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere (rule 1), but they were doing it anyway.
They were therefore distracted when the building shook.
Josh lifted his head and frowned.
“Did the Earth just move for you too?” He asked with raised eyebrows.
Donna gave him a chastising look.
“What was that?” She asked, frowning.
“I don’t know.” He mused. “Earthquake?”
Josh’s pager went off.
Exchanging wary looks, they stood up and went to the door. Josh’s detail agent was standing right outside with a hand to his ear and a worried look on his face. He held up a hand to stop them from leaving.
“I need you to stay here temporarily, sir, ma’am.” He said seriously.
“What’s going on?” Josh asked.
“We’re in lock down.” He replied, his focus more on listening than on them. “There’s been an explosion.”
“What?” Donna exclaimed.
“We’ve put the whole building into lock down as a precaution. Everyone outside the zone needs to stay where they are for now.”
“Explosion where?” Josh demanded.
The agent finally looked directly at him.
“A car exploded outside the North West Entrance, sir.”
Josh’s eyes widened. He looked at Donna, who was looking horrified too.
“Anyone hurt?” She demanded, beating him to it by seconds.
The agent shook his head.
“Unknown at this time, ma’am.”
“Where’s the President?” Josh asked, looking kind of queasy.
“He’s in the Oval Office. Agents are trying to evacuate him…”
“Trying?!” Josh exclaimed. “Get me to him! I’ll personally kick his ass out of the building!”
“Josh.” Donna said calmly, putting a hand on his arm. He brushed her off.
“I’ve got to get back there.” He stated, making a move to leave but the agent stood resolutely in his way.
“I can’t let you do that Mr Lyman.” He said firmly. “I’ve been told to keep you here for the moment.”
“I’m going back to the West Wing.” Josh insisted, trying to get past him. The agent moved to block him again.
“Josh.” Donna said again.
“Get out of my way!” Josh shouted.
“Josh!” Donna said firmly.
He turned pained eyes to her. Her eyes were filled with tears.
“There’s nothing you can do.” She said softly, reaching a hand out again. He swallowed visibly.
They stared at each other for a moment.
“Mr Lyman,” The agent said calmly and they looked back at him. “The President and the staff are being evacuated from the West Wing.”
“How the hell did a bomb go off next to the White House?” Josh demanded.
“Sir, I’ll get you information as soon as I can.” He replied. “In the meantime, you have to stay here.”
Josh fumed visibly, but Donna encouraged him back into the office and closed the door. He raked his hand through his hair. He strode over to her desk and picked up the phone. The line was dead. He yanked out his cell phone and found it had no service. He slammed his hand down on the desk in frustration.
When he looked up he saw that Donna was sat on the couch staring into space. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. His anger and frustration took a back seat as he went over to her and sat down. He took her hands into his.
“These things aren’t supposed to happen here.” She said, not looking at him. “Cars don’t explode here. Not here.”
Josh froze for a second, then his hands tightened on hers.
“Donna, where are you right now?” He asked softly.
She turned to him. Her eyes were sad but clear. She studied his worried face, then pulled a hand from his and used it to cup his face.
“I’m here, with you.” She smiled reassuringly.
He didn’t look reassured.
“Josh, I’m not… I don’t…” She sighed and dropped her hand. “I don’t remember Gaza.”
He frowned.
“I mean…” She shrugged and smiled wryly. “I do remember Gaza. I just…” She looked away. “I remember talking to a guard at the Erez checkpoint.” She let out a breath and looked back at him. “That’s the last thing I remember,” She half-smiled. “Before waking up and seeing you in Germany.”
She put her hand back on top of his.
“You don’t remember?” He asked in a soft, choked voice.
She shook her head.
“The brain’s a strange thing. Sometimes when traumatic things happen, it gets stuck in a loop.” Her hand gripped his for a moment. She sighed deeply. “Other times, it erases it.”
“You’ve… spoken to someone about it?” He asked, concerned.
She nodded.
“Yes.” She said, and smiled sadly. “Leo made me.” She admitted.
“Leo?” He asked, surprised.
“Yeah.” She smiled fondly. “He kept calling me while I was on Russell’s campaign to make sure I was okay.”
Josh didn’t smile, instead he dropped his head and looked at their hands.
“Donna, I’m…” He began.
“Don’t say it.” She cut in. She looked down too and deliberately ran her thumb over his wedding band. “Don’t say that you’re sorry.”
They both looked up and their eyes met. Donna smiled.
“Don’t say it.” She repeated softly. “We’re both here, and we’re okay.”
They looked at each other with their hearts in their eyes. He turned their hands, so he could run his fingers over her wedding band. He lifted her hand and kissed it. Then he moved forward to put his arms around her waist and bury his head under her chin. She wrapped her arms around him, rested her head on his head and closed her eyes.
They stayed that way until they heard the knock on the door. Josh stood up and opened it.
“The National Security Advisor is on his way. We’ll be evacuating you soon.” The agent informed him. He’d been joined by two more agents.
“Any news yet on casualties?” Donna appeared at Josh’s shoulder.
The agent’s jaw tightened.
“Who?” Josh demanded, he felt Donna take his hand.
The agent was about to speak but Anderson Glenn appeared walking towards them.
He and Josh nodded at each other in tense acknowledgement. They all moved back into Donna’s office and closed the door.
“What happened?” Josh demanded tersely.
“A car bomb detonated outside the North West Entrance at 12:31PM.” Glenn replied. “We have four dead. Six people in critical condition. Eight people with major injuries, not life threatening. Twenty four people are being treated for minor injuries.”
Donna had her hand over her mouth. Josh’s eyes had widened but he was holding it together.
“Who?” He asked.
“The two guards at the door are dead, the agent inside is in critical condition…”
“Larry.” Josh cut in, he’d gone very pale.
Glenn and Donna looked at him.
“The agent on the door today was Larry.” Josh said tightly. “Go on.”
“The driver of the car, and his passenger,” He paused. “Who we think was the primary target…”
“Who?” Josh demanded.
“The Secretary of State.”
“Arnie?” Donna gasped.
Her and Josh looked at each other. Her emotions were written on her face, but he was trying to contain his.
“And the other people?” Josh asked turning to face Glenn, sour faced and tight lipped. “The people in critical condition…”
“Three staffers, two visitors.”
“The President? The senior staff..?” Josh asked.
“The President, First Lady and most of the Senior Staff have been evacuated to Camp David.”
“What about the kids?” Donna asked. “They’re at school. Has anyone..?”
“The children have been collected, as a precaution, as has the VP and his family, and try’re on their way there now too.” He told her and then turned back to Josh. “Sam Seaborn was hit on the head by falling plaster, and is being checked out at GW.”
Donna and Josh both snapped to attention.
“They don’t think it’s serious, but they’ll probably be keeping him in.” He reassured them.
“Has anyone claimed responsibility?” Josh asked, trying to focus. “Why do you think Vinick was the target?”
“It was his car.” Glenn said simply. “No warnings and no claims as yet.”
Josh sucked in air.
“How does this happen?” He demanded quietly and Glenn shook his head. “How does a bomb go off next to this building?”
“We’re looking into that.”
Josh glared at him.
“You do that.” He said in a tone of voice Donna had never heard him use before. Her heart beat faster.
Glenn nodded curtly.
“We’ll have you out of here soon.” He said and left.
“Josh?” Donna said softly.
He held out a hand to her and pulled her into his arms. As she curled up against him, he put an arm around her, but his head was somewhere else entirely.
—
They followed the agents down corridors and, as they progressed through the building, they saw that papers were abandoned, furniture was overturned, masonry had fallen down and there were fine cracks in the walls. A heavy layer of dust was in the air.
The place was curiously empty of the normal bustle of people, apart from the agents in black suits; who were everywhere.
Donna’s face took on a look of horror again at the destruction. Josh, meanwhile, was made of ice and steel.
In the distance they could hear sirens and Donna tightened her grip on his arm, trying to be an anchor for him. He didn’t need it right now. He had total focus.
The agents led them out into the sunshine, across the lawn and to a helicopter.
As they circled around the building, Donna gasped.
“Oh my god.” She said softly.
Josh was aware of it but he was too busy thinking to look out the window. It wasn’t until Donna clutched his arm and said his name that he did.
The scene below looked like chaos. The building was surrounded by emergency vehicles. There were police and soldiers everywhere. From above, they could see the remains of the car, the coppery traces of blood, and the building, blackened and broken.
Josh did the quick calculation in his head: Lou’s office on one side, Sam’s on the other, Vinick and Larry in the middle.
His eyes drifted closed against the horrible image in front of him, but then he determinedly opened them again and looked one more time.
—
When they landed at Camp David, Lou and Margaret were there to meet them.
Donna impulsively reached out and hugged Lou, who hugged her back. Margaret hugged Josh and he let her. Lou and Josh just looked at each other over the other women’s shoulders.
They started walking.
“The President knows you’re here and on your way.” Margaret informed Josh. He nodded briskly.
“Any news on Sam?” Donna asked.
“He’s okay.” Lou replied. “They’ll let him out in a few days. Jennifer’s with him.”
“You’re working on a statement.” Josh said curtly.
“Otto’s done a draft.” She said.
He nodded curtly again.
“Get it done.” He said before walking off. Margaret rushed to keep up with him.
He didn’t see the questioning look Lou sent after him. She turned to Donna and saw a worried look on her face.
Donna looked back at Lou and frowned.
“Are you okay?” She asked. “You’re standing strangely.”
“I hurt my leg a little.” Lou said dismissively.
“Have you had it checked out?”
“Nah, it’s just…”
“Come on,” Donna said firmly, coming over to support her. “Let’s get it looked at.”
—
“I’ve yet to have anyone explain to me how a bomb goes off next to White House.”
Josh didn’t yell. He was unnervingly reserved.
Matt looked at him in surprise.
“I’d like the answer to that too.” He agreed as he looked determinedly around the table.
Joint Chiefs, Secret Service, FBI, CIA and none of them seemed to have an answer to the question.
“We think they had someone on the inside.” Glenn finally said.
“Do we know who ‘they’ are yet?” Matt asked.
“We do laughingly call some of you intelligence services right?” Josh mocked coolly. “How about you give us your best guess?”
Matt looked at him again. This ice cold Josh was worrying him more than if he’d lost it and started screaming at the room.
“None of the usual groups have claimed responsibility.” General Alexander told them.
“We’re still examining the bomb itself.” Glenn said. “What we do know is that it was sophisticated. This wasn’t thrown together. This was professional.”
“Well that makes me feel better.” Josh replied archly. “I’d hate to think White House staff were killed by amateurs.”
Glenn licked his lip nervously. He looked over at the General, then back at Josh and Matt.
“We think this was domestic.” He said.
“Domestic?” Matt echoed.
Glenn nodded.
“You’re sure this isn’t about the way we handled the Gaza bombing?” Matt asked. “This isn’t belated retaliation by sympathisers for getting the bombers locked up?”
“We think it might be about that.” General Alexander agreed. “But not by an Islamic group.”
“There’s chatter coming from radical groups here in the Homeland.” Glenn said. “They hated Vinick for, according to them, selling out US Troops by compromising with Palestinian terrorists. They’re calling it treason.”
Matt blew out a long breath. He’d been expecting tonight to end with him having to order a bombing raid against somebody. He’d been psyching himself up to do it. The idea that U.S. citizens would explode a bomb outside the White House to kill their own Secretary of State was something he’d never considered.
An aide came in at that point and handed a note to Josh.
Matt saw Josh tense. He looked at him enquiringly.
“Agent Larry Gorman died of his injuries 20 minutes ago.” Josh informed him, that stony reserve still not faltering.
Josh turned back to Alexander and Glenn.
“How soon are we likely to know anything for sure?” He asked.
“Three or four hours.”
—
Donna was lying on the bed in their room when Josh came in.
“Any news?” She asked anxiously sitting up.
“Larry died.” He said flatly as he went into the small en-suite bathroom to splash some water on his face.
“Oh no.” She sighed, getting up and going to stand in the doorway. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He replied.
“You don’t sound fine.” She said.
“Just leave it, Donna.” He brushed past her back into the bedroom.
She turned to look at him. He began stripping down, actually folding his clothes as went.
“Josh,” She said. “Talk to me.”
“I’m not in the mood for talking tonight.” He replied.
“You’ll feel better if…” She began.
“For the love of God, just stop talking.” He spat harshly, not looking at her. “It’s classified.”
She shut her mouth and carried on watching him. He reached boxers and t-shirt and got into bed.
“Don’t stare at me like that, Donna.” He said.
She turned off the main lights and got into bed too. She tried to cuddle up to him but he just turned away. She reached out and turned off the light on the nightstand, before lying back down.
They lay there in silence for a few minutes. In the distance there was the sound of a helicopter taking off. Wind whistled around the building.
“We’re all hurting, Josh.” Donna finally said into the darkness. “You’re not the only one.”
“It’s my responsibility.” He eventually said.
She propped herself up on her side and looked at his back. It seemed a very long time since she’d been too scared to reach out to him.
She didn’t know what to say. This time he was actually right. It was his job and his responsibility.
“But that doesn’t make it your fault.” She finally said.
“Tell that to Vinick and Larry.” He said flatly.
Donna moved and put her arms around him. He didn’t respond but he didn’t flinch away either. He didn’t make a sound. She lay her head against his back and fought back tears.
—
The telephone was ringing as Donna walked back into their room. She tossed her coat onto the bed and picked up the receiver.
“Donna Lyman.” She said crisply.
“Donna! It’s so good to hear your voice. The Secret Service’ve been keeping me up to date, but it’s not the same as hearing from you.”
Donna smiled at the familiar maternal tone.
“Sorry I haven’t had a chance to call you Abbey. It’s been crazy around here these past few days.” She replied.
“How’re you holding up kiddo?” She asked softly.
Donna sat down heavily on the edge of the bed.
“We still have two people in critical condition and six people being kept in hospital. Crushed and broken bones mostly. One lost an arm. A couple may not walk again.” She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. “It’s so horrible, Abbey.”
“Do you know anything yet about who did this?
“Josh and the President are in with people now. I don’t know anything much I’m afraid.”
Donna brushed tears away from her eyes.
“I saw that Sam was released from the hospital.” Abbey said.
“Yeah.” Donna breathed. “Apparently he has a spectacular bump on his head, but he’s going to be fine.”
“That’s good news.” Abbey replied wearily. “How’s Josh taking it?”
Donna sighed again.
“I don’t know.” She admitted. “I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“How so?” The tone was concerned now.
Donna shook her head.
“Well, you know the usual Josh reaction to something like this would be raising his voice and shouting at the whole world, but he’s not doing that. Instead he’s… I don’t know…”
—
“We have to get back into the White House as soon as possible.” Lou said. She was leaning heavily on the crutch the medics had proved for her. “It sends completely the wrong message for the President, and almost his entire senior staff, to be hiding out at Camp David.”
“No one’s gonna be thinking that way right now.” Bram insisted. “We were attacked. It’s expected for us to be in safest possible place.”
Lou shook her head.
“Correspondents on Fox have already used the phrase ‘bolt hole’ twice now casually.” She replied. “Give it a few more days and they’ll be using it a lot more often. From there, it’ll start to spread.”
“Lou’s right.” Edie agreed. “We need to be moving as many staff as we can back to Washington a.s.a.p.”
“We’ve already moved a lot of staff into the OEOB.” Amy stated. “They’re doubling up on offices as it is.”
“We can’t move people till we know it’s safe!” Bram said.
“Of course we need people to be safe!” Edie replied. “That’s not the point.”
“Surely it’s the whole point.” Lester interjected.
“We need to weigh up security against the message it sends.” Amy added.
“The message isn’t as important as anyone’s safety!” Lester replied.
“No one’s saying that it is.” Lou told him.
Donna was frowning as she leant against a table at the edge of the group. She knew it wasn’t her place to try and break this up but they were now descending into everyone talking over each other as emotions started to run high. She opened her mouth, about to tell them to knock it off because it wasn’t productive to behave like this, but she didn’t get a chance.
“Okay, everybody shut up!” A calm commanding voice came from the doorway.
Stunned into silence, they all turned to Josh.
“For the moment none of us are going anywhere.” He stated as he strode into the room.
Lou opened her mouth to speak but he just looked at her icily and she closed her mouth again.
Donna watched him warily. He didn’t look at her at all. He normally at least caught her eye briefly. She chewed on her lower lip.
“I’ve spoken to the OCOS. They’re co-ordinating the clean up. We can’t get back in there until they’ve finished, and checked the structural integrity of the building. They’re also going over new security procedures.”
“Josh…” Lou tried to cut in but he sent her another cold look.
“They don’t know yet how long it’s gonna take.” He said. “It takes as long as it takes.”
Lou was obviously frustrated but she maintained her professionalism.
“Then we’re gonna need to pro-actively say that, because if we don’t spin it for the good, the tide will change on us in the press.” She stated firmly.
Josh looked unmoved. He finally turned to Donna. His eyes as looked at her were empty.
“I want it to come from the First Lady’s office.” He said.
“Josh, it needs to come from us.” Lou insisted. “We need to project…”
“The First Lady’s office is us.” He met Donna eyes but there was still nothing there.
“We’ll do whatever you need.” Donna replied, determinedly not looking away or looking intimidated (even though she was shaking inside). “But Lou’s right. It should come from Graham.”
“It’s my decision.” He said, breaking eye contact dismissively.
“I’ll run it past Helen.” Donna added, defiantly. She didn’t know what was going on with him but she needed some way to break through.
He looked back at her and, for the first time, there was flash of something in his eyes. Then it was gone and he looked away again.
Donna was aware that people were frowning at them, confused about what was going on. She understood the feeling. She too wished that she knew.
“We’ve still not had anyone claim credit for the bombing?” Otto asked warily.
“No.” Josh replied. “But they’re now sure that this wasn’t an attack by a foreign power or any of the usual suspects. This was homegrown.”
There were a lot of sharp intakes of breath around the room.
“Was there someone on the inside?” Edie asked.
“They have a suspect in custody. Somebody in the PSB.” He said. “We’ll know more in a few hours.”
“Are we sure there aren’t any more of them?” Otto asked.
Josh turned to look directly at him.
“We’re not sure of anything right now.” He said flatly.
Everyone shifted nervously at that statement.
“Are we safe here?” Annabeth asked softly.
Everyone, including Josh, turned to her.
“Probably.” Josh said.
The room erupted as, deeply concerned, everyone tried to speak at once. Josh held up his hands to quieten them down.
“We’re looking into security.” He said. “Every detail is being doubled up. We’ve got the army sitting out there too. For now, you carry on and do your jobs.”
They all started talking at him at once again.
“Just do your jobs!” He ordered coldly and walked out.
Lou and Donna exchanged a quick glance. Donna was already on her feet and following him.
She caught up with him outside but he didn’t stop walking. She had to jog to keep pace.
“What the hell was that?” She demanded. “You just scared the living daylights out of them!”
He stopped abruptly and turned to face her.
“Good.” He said calmly. “They should be scared. It’ll keep them vigilant.”
“Josh!” She exclaimed aghast at his cold tone.
He turned away and started walking again. She stayed where she was, completely horrified.
“Josh!” She called after him.
“Do your job.” He flung over his shoulder and kept walking.
Donna watched him go with tears in her eyes.
—
Half an hour later, Lou found Donna sitting on a bench on one of the terraces staring into space. She sat down next to her.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
Donna turned her tear stained face to her and Lou smiled wryly.
“I didn’t bring any tissues…” She said apologetically.
“That’s okay, I have…” Donna reached into her pocket and pulled out a small packet. “I’ve been needing them too often lately to come out without any.” She shrugged, forcefully yanked one out of the packet and wiped at her eyes. “One of these days I’ll work out how not cry over everything.”
“No, it’s good to cry.” Lou replied.
Donna looked up at her in surprise.
“I’ve never seen you cry.” She said.
Lou laughed softly.
“You’ve seen me drink right?” She replied flippantly.
Donna kept looking at her seriously and Lou swallowed hard.
“I cry Donna.” She said softly, meeting her eyes. “I know I have a reputation, and it’s something I have no problem projecting at the world, but, I cry sometimes. You have to.”
Donna smiled, without humour, at her.
“Josh hasn’t cried, has he?” Lou asked and the smile faded.
“He’s trying hard to be strong.” Donna replied.
“Yeah,” Lou agreed. “But asshole is mostly what he’s managing to achieve right now.”
“Yeah.” Donna sighed and looked away. She dabbed at her eyes again.
Lou reached a hand out and rubbed her shoulder.
—
Donna was sat on the bed in their room replying to emails when Josh came in.
“What did you say to Mrs Santos?” He demanded.
“You’ll have to be more specific than that.” She said without looking up. “I say a great many things to Helen on any given day.”
“Okay, how about this… what did you say to undermine my position to our employers?”
Donna’s head snapped up to look at him.
“Just what are you accusing me of?” She demanded.
“You heard me.” He replied. His tone throughout had been ice cold, his voice never raised.
Donna slammed the laptop shut, put it aside and stood up.
“I told her I was concerned about you.” She said defiantly. “Which I am.”
“And you didn’t think that would make me look incompetent?”
“No.” She stated. “I was worried about you, and I spoke to someone else who cares about you.”
She met his eyes as she said it. Hers full of emotion, his hard and flat.
“Have you shared this concern with any of the rest of my staff?” He asked scornfully.
“We’re all worried about you.” She said.
“So you have?” He said.
“We’re all worried about you.” She said again, more forcefully.
“Don’t be.” He said, turning away.
“Josh, I think you should call Stanley. You need…” She said softly, moving forward and reaching out to touch his shoulder.
Without warning, he turned back. Finally an emotion appeared in his eyes and Donna was horrified by the flash of anger. He reached out and grabbed her shoulders roughly, staring into her eyes. He instantly froze and the expression on his face changed to a look of complete, stunned horror.
“Let go of me Josh.” She said firmly, staring back.
He immediately let go, still staring at her.
She couldn’t stand it. She looked away.
“Never do that again.” She said softly, looking at the floor.
“Yeah.” He said, sounding stunned. “I mean no. Right.”
She couldn’t stand it. She turned and headed for the door.
“Never.” She repeated firmly as she went through it.
She didn’t see him take a step towards the door or hear his strangled: “Donna…”
—
Matt stared at the report in his hands. Just when he’d thought there wasn’t anything left to surprise him, the level of vitriol in these pages had outright shocked him.
“Has Josh seen this?” He asked, looking up at Glenn.
“He has it now.” He replied, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
Matt nodded and pursed his lips. If there was anything that might shock Josh out of the disquieting reserve he’d been displaying over the past few days, then surely this report was it.
Matt stood up and went to open the door. Ronna looked up as she saw him.
“Can you find Donna for me?” He asked.
“She literally just left.” Ronna told him, half standing and looking towards the doorway.
He waved her to sit back down and went to the cabin door. He could see Donna heading off into the woodland.
Matt looked back at Glenn, who’d come to the doorway. He nodded at him and looked back to Ronna.
“Gather the staff for me please Ronna.” He told her. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Sir?” Ronna said, but Matt was already gone.
A small group of agents quietly headed after him.
—
Having found the President to be unavailable, Donna headed out into the woods to think.
All of this was horrible enough, but that scene with Josh earlier than taken so much out of her. After everything they’d been through she couldn’t believe that he was behaving like this. She’d thought the trust between them was absolute these days. That he didn’t agree was rocking the foundations of her world. That flash of anger on his face… and, oh god, the shocked look that had followed it…
“Donna?” She heard a voice call, breaking the peace of the forest. “Donna?”
She recognised that voice.
Donna stopped and turned, wide eyed, to see the President jogging to catch up with her. He had a folder clutched in his hand, and he was followed by a cadre of agents somehow still looking cool whilst jogging through a forest in their black suits.
“Mr President?” She exclaimed, surprised. “What are you doing running after me, sir? I’m sure that’s not how it’s supposed to work!”
She smiled at him but he didn’t smile as he came to a stop a few feet away. The agents took up positions a short distance from them, several talking quietly into their mics as they did so.
Her smile faded.
“What is it?” She asked anxiously. “Is it Josh?”
“In a manner of speaking.” He replied and handed her the report.
She took it warily, whilst looking at him questioningly.
“I’m getting the staff together but I wanted you to see this before you see Josh again.” He said. “Helen told me you were worried about him. I’m worried too.”
Donna was about to say something else but the look on his face stopped her. She nodded and opened the file.
Her gasp a few moments later was very loud in the quiet woodland.
She looked up at Matt. He nodded and gestured for her to read on. Frowning, she did so. The frown deepened.
“This is crazy.” She said incredulously. “They hated Vinick for being a Christian Republican working with Josh and the Palestinians. They hate me for being a Christian married to a Jew. And they hate Josh for being Jewish, and for being Jewish and working with the Palestinians, and for being married to me, and…” She looked up at Matt. “Well, basically for everything he is, does and stands for.”
She looked back at the report, read on and then froze.
“Car bomb.” She said softly. “That bitch should’ve died in that car bomb.” She read out loud, then looked up at Matt in horror. “Oh my god.” She said.
He nodded apologetically.
She looked down again and urgently flicked through more of the pages. She paused and her hand hovered over the page. It showed a picture of a picture of her and Josh, standing together in the doorway of their home, smiling as they said goodnight to Vinick.
“This was last week.” She said. “How could they have pictures from outside our house last week?” She demanded as she looked up. She saw red. “How could they be outside our house? Where were the fucking secret service whilst they were taking pictures outside our home?!”
“Donna…” Matt started out in a soothing tone.
“I’m sorry Mr President, but they were outside our home!” She exclaimed and turned away, putting a hand over her mouth.
“Mine too.” He said softly, with feeling.
She instantly sobered, lifted her chin and turned back. They looked seriously at each other for a long moment. Donna nodded. Matt tried for a reassuring smile.
He came over and touched her shoulder, trying to give some comfort. She smiled thankfully up at him.
—
Josh had taken a walk in the woods in an attempt to clear his head after reading the report, after the, thing, with Donna. It already wasn’t working when he spotted Donna and the President.
He watched as they stared at each other seriously. Then he saw Santos step closer and stroke her arm. He couldn’t see their faces and he was far enough away that he couldn’t hear them as they spoke some more.
A part of him told him that it meant nothing. He struggled to control his emotions as another part saw red. What the hell was this cosy little scene out here, them alone in the woods?! Why was he the one comforting her?
Josh moved away behind a tree. He put his back against it, scrunched his face up and let his head fall back with a thump.
“What the hell am I doing?” He asked out loud.
-g-
Josh was the last of the staff to arrive in the President’s study.
Everyone else was already seated in the variety of chairs. Even though there was a space left available on the couch next to Donna, he choose to stand, leaning against a table, near the back.
Donna watched him as he settled there. His gaze flicked over to meet hers, but he immediately looked away again. She carried on watching him as he stood there impassively looking at the floor.
There was low level chatter amongst the others but it stopped when the President walked in.
Josh determinedly lifted his head to look at him. Donna carried on watching Josh for a moment but he didn’t look back at her. She turned to the President too.
Matt chewed his lip for a moment, absently rearranging papers on his desk. He looked up at them all.
“This is a difficult time.” He began. “For all of us.” He looked first at Donna, then around the room. “This isn’t what we were all expecting when we signed on for this. We knew there were people in this country who didn’t like us, but none of us expected those people to put a bomb in the car of a Cabinet member and explode it outside our office block.”
He smiled without humour.
Donna noticed that Bram and Edie had stopped looking at him and were contemplating their hands. Ronna, at the edge of the room, was staring off into space. Margaret had her head lowered and her eyes closed next to her. Lou, Amy, Graham, Lester, Otto and Annabeth were still watching him. The intensity of their feelings were obvious. Even Amy had her emotions clearly written on her face.
She turned slightly to look at Josh and found him too watching Matt. His face was still slack, showing no reaction at all.
“The FBI now know who did it.” Matt said and heads came up again as people snapped their attention back to him. “They’re working on a plan of action right now. These people will be brought to justice soon.”
The room was filled with sighs of relief.
“It’s not time to relax just yet.” Josh said from his place at the back of the room.
“Of course not.” Lou told him. “But we can all sleep a little easier when these people are nicely locked up.”
“They’re not yet.” He pointed out calmly. “This can still go badly wrong. If they’re armed, we could still be facing an ugly standoff.” He pushed away from the table he was leaning on to stand upright. “Even if they do get them easily, there’s more out there like them, and they alł hate me, us.”
Donna noticed the stumble. The momentary crack in the cool demeanour.
“And then we’ll get them too, Josh.” Santos said firmly. He’d noticed it too.
“After people have died.” Josh replied, meeting his eyes.
The two men looked at each other for a long, intense moment. Josh, respectfully, looked away first.
Santos looked contemplative. He lifted his chin and smiled reassuringly at the room.
“We’ll get them too.” He repeatedly firmly. He shrugged, looking tired. “Okay, that’s all. I’ll let you all get back to to it. We have still have a country to run. We’ll let you all know when there’s more to know.”
Everyone picked themselves up, thanked him and headed out of the room.
“Josh, Donna.” Santos said, stopping them.
They hung back.
“When we get back to D.C. we’ll be increasing your security.” He said.
“Thank you, sir.” Donna smiled.
Josh said nothing.
“Josh?” He asked.
“I’ll be resigning when we get back to D.C, sir.” He said.
Donna looked over at him, aghast.
“I won’t accept your resignation.” Santos said instantly.
“Then you’ll have to sue me or arrest me, because I won’t be turning up for work.” Josh said. “If you’ll excuse me.”
He turned and left, leaving Donna and the President staring after him.
Donna turned to Santos.
“I’ll fix it.” She said.
He nodded at her and she left too.
—
Donna stood in the doorway to the cabin and saw Josh walking away.
The staff were all still in the outer office behind her or milling about outside.
“Joshua Lyman, get your ass back here.” She called out loudly.
He stopped and turned to look at her. She strode over to him.
“You can’t walk away from this now.” She said.
“Watch me.” He said.
“You walk away from this, and you walk away from me.”
He looked around at the staff who were watching them.
“We don’t do this here.” He said and turned to leave.
“This time we do.” She replied, moving in front of him, stopping him. “This time we do this right here. It’s their business too if you’re abandoning them now.”
“I’m not abandoning anyone.” He said.
“It sure looks like that to me.” She said firmly.
He looked around again.
“We don’t do this here.” He insisted again.
He stepped round her.
“I never took you for a coward.” She hit out.
He turned back and they glared at each other. She lifted her chin, refusing to back down. Her heart was breaking but she didn’t let it show.
He broke eye contact first and walked off.
Donna looked away and took a deep breath. She straightened her shoulders and looked back.
“No.” She said, and followed him.
—
“What the fuck is this, Josh?” Donna demanded as she stormed into their room after him. “Do you not see what’s going on here?”
“Oh do enlighten me!” He said as he turned to face her.
“I read the report.” She said. “The President showed it to me.”
“He shouldn’t have done that.” He replied.
“That man loves you Josh.” She said. “Why can’t you see that we all just care about you?”
“They’re not here to love me, Donna. It’s not a popularity contest!” He exclaimed. “I’m their boss and they nearly got killed because some scumbags have got it into their heads to hate me.”
“And that’s not your fault.” She insisted.
“Who else’s fault is it?” He asked.
“Theirs!” She exclaimed. “The scumbags! Who are going to get caught and punished for it.”
He turned away and she sighed in frustration.
“They’re terrorists Josh.” She said. “Yeah, they hate you. And they hated Vinick. And they hate me too.” She sighed again. “You know what it means when the scumbags hate us? It means we’re doing something right.”
He looked back at her over his shoulder, his face still showing no emotion.
“A car bomb, Josh. Timed for lunchtime.” She met his eyes. “They’d been watching us all for months. They knew you and I wouldn’t be in the West Wing. They’d knew we’d be in my office.”
“We’re not always there at lunchtime.” He said.
“Lately we are.” She replied. “You’ve been making the time. The staff knows it. They only disturb us when they really have to. One hour, almost everyday, which Margaret enforces. Did you know that she does that?” She smiled fondly. “She’s pretty protective of us.”
He turned away again.
“A car bomb Josh.” She said again. “They wanted to hurt you. It’s all over their messages. They wished I’d died in Gaza. They knew this would have an impact on me and that that would hurt you.”
He looked back again and this time there was emotion on his face, in his eyes.
“They want war in Israel, Josh.” She said, letting all her emotions show on her face. “They’re insane. They want the Jews to fight the Muslims and destroy each other, so that Jesus can come back again! You, and Bartlet, and Santos, and Vinick have all scuppered their precious little apocalypse!” She snorted a laugh, and then drew in and let go a deep breath. “That’s why there were no claims. They assumed you’d blame the Palestinians for this, and be so angry you’d start a war.” She laughed bitterly and said, mockingly: “They’re also not that bright.”
He stared at her.
“This, reaction, you’ve been having… that’s what they wanted.” She smiled wryly. “Well, not quite. They misunderstood you. But you quit now, and they still win.”
They stared at each other for a long moment.
Donna turned away first. She went to the table and picked up her purse. Josh just watched her.
She pulled something out and went over to him.
“This,” She said as she handed it to him. “This is what it’s about.” She let her hands close over his as she did so.
With one last long look at him, she let her hands drop, turned and left the room.
Josh watched her as she left and then looked down at the object in his hands.
It was a pen case. He knew what it was before he even opened it.
A memory came to him from when they were leaving her office. She’d stopped at the last minute and rushed back to her desk. He hadn’t been paying much attention at the time but she’d taken something from a lower drawer and put it into her purse, as if she couldn’t bare to leave it behind.
Another memory followed it. Her standing in a hotel suite filled with people getting ready to hit the road for another campaign stop. Her purse getting knocked from her arm as she turned, and something falling to the floor. Her dropping instantly to her knees to grab it before Bram stepped on it. Her clutching it to her chest for a moment, before putting it hastily back into her bag.
Josh opened the lid. The pen had the Presidential Seal and above it read: “President Josiah Bartlet.”
“I tried to get the z.” He said out loud, and a tear fell down his cheek.
—
Donna sat on the kitchen counter eating from a huge tub of rocky road ice cream.
“The agents said I could find you in here.”
Donna looked over at Amy.
“I came to tell you.” Amy smiled her odd smile. “They got ‘em.”
Donna let the spoon fall into the ice cream as she closed her eyes, dropped her head and sighed with relief.
“The FBI did a surprise raid on them.” Amy continued. “Some of them tried to put up a fight but they’re weren’t expecting them, so some of them were actually in their underwear.” She laughed a little nastily.
Donna opened her eyes and looked over at her again.
“Has someone told Josh?” She asked.
“Sam went to do it.” She said.
“He’s here?” Donna asked, eagerly.
“Seaborn to the rescue.” She smiled.
Donna smiled wryly and looked at the ice cream.
“You’re doing good, you know.” Amy said. “You and Josh.”
“It hasn’t felt like it lately.” Donna sighed.
“I didn’t think you had it in you to stand up to him like that.”
Donna looked up at her. Amy was smiling.
“Oh, I’ve seen you debate him before, but today you stood up to him.”
“It didn’t feel like a good thing.” Donna commented dryly.
“It was.” Amy said. “’Cause if you can take on J at his worst, you can take on anyone.”
“Amy, I don’t…” She began wearily.
“It’s a compliment.” Amy cut her off. “I’m giving you a compliment. Just take it, okay?”
—
Donna hugged him as soon as she saw him.
Sam closed his eyes and returned the hug. They held on tightly for a long time.
“How are you?” He asked.
“That’s my line.” She smiled into his shoulder.
“I have a spectacular bump.” He said.
“That’s what I heard.” She replied.
“Now you see, I’m too tired to turn this into the opening lines for the innuendo it so richly deserves to be.” He smiled into her hair.
She laughed.
“I honestly don’t know whether to be upset or relieved about that.” She said.
They finally let go.
“I hear you’ve all been a mess without me.” He said with a cheeky smile, although his eyes were serious.
“We need you Sam.” She smiled.
“That’s all I’ve ever needed to hear.” He smiled back.
She squeezed his hand and her face grew serious.
“You spoke to Josh?” She asked.
His face turned serious too.
“Yeah.” He sighed. “He’s looked better.” Sam looked at the floor. “He’d probably hate me saying it, certainly to anyone but you, but I think he’d been crying before I got there.”
Donna’s head snapped up.
“What?” She asked.
“He looked like he’d been crying.” Sam said again.
“I have to go.” She said suddenly, turning to leave. She turned back and reached out to hug him again. “It’s good to have you back.”
Then she rushed off.
—
When Donna walked back into their room Josh was nowhere to be seen.
“Josh?” She called in the direction of the bathroom, assuming that he was in there, but he wasn’t. “Josh?” She called again.
“Over here.” His muffled voice said from behind her.
It was just then that she noticed that the top sheets and pillows were missing from the bed.
She turned towards the direction of his voice and saw that a blanket had been thrown over the table, and that two sock clad feet where protruding from under the edge of it.
Despite herself, a laugh burst from her.
“Hey, don’t laugh, just get down here.” He said.
She sank to her knees, with slight difficulty from her leg, and lifted the edge of the blanket. Josh was laid down on a scruffy pile of pillows and sheets.
“Popcorn?” He asked as he offered her the bowl, and stuffed a handful into his mouth.
“No thanks.” She said, but she was smiling wryly as she crawled in to join him.
She lay down on her side facing him, propped up on one arm, mirroring his position.
“Why have you built a fort?” She asked when she was settled.
“Why not.” He shrugged and smiled tentatively.
He turned away suddenly and put the popcorn bowl behind him.
“Josh…” She began as he turned back.
“This is what I should have done, isn’t it?” He asked softly, not looking at her. He brought his gaze up to look her in the eyes. “After Gaza.”
She looked at him steadily.
“Yes.” She said simply.
A grimace flashed across his face as he looked away again.
Donna immediately reached out and turned his face back to look at her.
“Yes.” She said again firmly. “You should’ve. This is exactly what you should have done, Josh. But I don’t care anymore that you didn’t.” She paused. “I care that you did it now.”
She let go of his face but he didn’t look away.
“Do you understand that? I care about what you do now. About how you treat me now.”
She couldn’t bare the look in his eyes anymore and looked away. After so many days of nothing, it was far too much.
“I’m sorry.” He said softly.
She made a noise of frustration and let her whole body fall backwards. She firmly closed her eyes. A moment later she felt him move too.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here Donna.” He said softly.
She opened her eyes again at the honest admission and turned her head to look at him.
“Not with you. Not with the job.”
He was lying on his back too now, staring sightlessly upwards.
“I don’t know how to be Leo.” He admitted. “I thought I had it. Everything was going realły well… then this happened… and I didn’t know what to do.”
She rolled back onto her side.
“That’s what you’ve been trying to do?” She asked, a little incredulously.
He looked back over at her.
“I don’t wanna mess any of this up.” He said sincerely, then laughed bitterly. “And I’ve been messing everything up.”
She reached out and took his hand. He refocused onto their joined hands.
“Perhaps it’s time to ask yourself a different question.” She suggested. “What would Josh do?”
He laughed dismissively and looked back up at the ‘ceiling’.
“I’m serious.” Donna said insistently. “What would Josh do right now?”
He chewed on his lip thoughtfully.
“He’d… I’d…” He sighed, then laughed. “I’d give a motivational speech to the staff filled with good intentions…” He smiled. “That would descend into a steaming hot mess of accusations of incompetence on their part.”
She squeezed his hand tighter.
“And we’d all laugh at you,” She said. “But secretly love you for being a crazy freak.”
He looked at her with a bemused smile.
“Or maybe that’s just me.” She smiled. “What else would Josh do?” She asked.
He looked away, thoughtful again.
“I’d argue with Lou for a while, then quietly agree that she’s right about us needing to send out a strong message that we’re right and they’re wrong.” He sat up a little more. “I’d kick up a storm to get us back into the White House as soon as possible.” He paused. “I’d get us all back to business. I’d send Sam to charm the Democrats on the Hill, and Edie to kick them into line.” He grinned. “Might kick the biggest blowhards myself. You know, just, for fun.”
He looked at Donna and found she was smiling too. He sighed deeply, and the grin turned instead into to an intense look focused on her.
“And I’d do this.” He said as he rolled onto his side, smoothly snaked an arm over her waist and pulled her hips against his.
“I was wondering when you’d get round to me.” She mused, putting an arm around him.
He manoeuvred his other arm underneath and around her, pulling her flush against him.
“My number one priority.” He said sincerely as he moved in to kiss her.
She shook her head and moved slightly out of reach. He looked at her, puzzled.
“Of course I’m not.” She said, matter of factly. He opened his mouth to deny it but she lightly put her hand over his mouth. “The country is.” She said. “It has to be right now. I understand that.” She let her hand drop and let it rest between them, on his chest over his heart. “All I ask is that you don’t shut me out. Let me help you. I may not always agree with you, but it’s what I believe in too Josh.”
He was looking at her now like she was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.
“Now you can kiss me.” She said with a quirky smile.
He smiled and moved in to do just that, and it was sweetest kiss. It didn’t last long but it spoke volumes and, when they stopped, they stayed close with noses pressed together and lips almost still touching.
“I should have done this after Gaza.” He whispered.
“Or anytime before.” She whispered back, her tone filled with gently mocking amusement.
“Or every moment of every day since the day we met.” He replied, pulling her as close against him as he could. He made a sound of pure contended relief, then continued, lasciviously: “On my desk!”
She laughed and pressed her forehead against his.
“Against the wall behind the door.” She joined in, tightening her own hold on him.
“In all the storage rooms!” He said, as he rolled onto his back and pulled her up on top to straddle him.
She sat up straighter, using the leverage to press herself down against his hips. He momentarily closed his eyes, but opened them again immediately to keep eye contact.
“By the fireplace in the Mural Room!” She said with a grin.
He reached his arms up to her neck to bring her back down to him.
“In the Lincoln bedroom!” He said as her lips were nearing his.
“Josh!” She exclaimed with a laugh, and then they were kissing again.
—
“Did you know that shoeshine contains nitrobenzene?”
Josh looked up from shining his shoe to see Donna in the doorway of his office.
“I did not.” He replied, carrying on.
“It’s a chronic toxin known to have harmful effects even if only used for a short time. It’s hazardous to ingestion, skin contact, eye contact and inhalation. It’s toxic to blood, kidneys, lungs, liver and mucous membranes.”
She walked further into the office.
“Seems odd that we’d let such a toxic substance stay on the market.” He replied.
“It’s the smell.” She said.
He looked up at her with a puzzled frown.
“Apparently they can make safer versions, but it just doesn’t smell right.”
“They continue using a toxic substance because it doesn’t smell right without it?”
“Apparently so.” She looked around the office. “I love what you haven’t done with the place.”
He put the shoe down and smiled. He relaxed back on the couch and watched her.
“Why mess with perfection?” He asked.
“There are subtle differences.” She said, turning back to meet his eyes.
“Yeah.” He said seriously.
She smiled reassuringly and stuck out her hand. In it was a small gift-wrapped parcel.
“I brought you a present. For the office.” She said.
He leant forward to take it. She sat down in Leo’s chair to watch him unwrap it. She smiled as he haphazardly tore at the paper.
He opened the cardboard box inside and pulled a wood and metal plaque out.
“We’ll write a new book.” He read out. He laughed as he recognised it and smiled over at her.
“That’s for the world.” She said, smiling back at him. “Turn it over. That’s for you.”
He swallowed hard as he read the words engraved on the other side.
“Ever tried? Ever failed? Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
He looked at her.
“This a quote from you?” He asked in a lightly mocking tone.
“It’s Mark Twain.” She replied.
“Oh.” He smiled. “’Cause it sounds like you.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She said silkily.
“Okay.” He shrugged, smiling mischievously and leaving it ambiguous.
They carried on looking at each other and quiet descended on the darkened office.
“Hey.” He said.
“Hey.” She replied.
“Come over here.”
She got up, came round the table and sat down on his lap. She wound her arms around his neck and he put his arms around her to steady her. They looked at each lovingly, then both leaned for the kiss.