Donna Down The Rabbit Hole
Summary: A somewhat leftfield sequel to my story “Forever” Spoilers: Journey’s End
Donna woke up; which was, frankly, something of a surprise in itself because the last thing she could clearly remember right now was dying.
She sat up and looked around to find that she was still right there, on the floor of the console room, where she remembered dying. It was a hard fact to reconcile.
A figure was standing in the shadows created by one of the coral struts that made up the impressive construction.
“Doctor?” Donna asked, standing up, and the figure stepped forward. She frowned “Where’s the Doctor?”
Everything came back to her in a mad rush. Yes, her body had died but, with the last whisper of Time Lord energy inside her, she’d forged a slender link with the TARDIS.
“You’re not Rose.” Donna stated comprehending.
“No.” The figure said, smiling with Rose’s features.
“You’re the TARDIS.” Donna grinned and gazed around her in awe. “I’m in the TARDIS, really IN the TARDIS.” She bounced.
TARDIS!Rose carried on smiling.
“None of this is real.” Donna marvelled.
“It’s a familiar construct.” TARDIS!Rose told her.
“Why do you look like Rose?” Donna asked. “I barely know her.”
“I like Rose.” TARDIS!Rose replied with a secretive smile.
“So are we like some Donna/TARDIS hybrid now?” Donna asked with a frown.
“No.” TARDIS!Rose replied, her smile almost maddening. “I’m still me and you’re still you, well, still you and still partly the Doctor.” She paused. “That wasn’t why I let you in, by the way, because you’re partly him. If I hadn’t liked you then you could have knocked as hard as you like, but I’d have never taken a chance on this.”
“Thank you for doing that.” Donna said sincerely. “I realised that you didn’t have to.”
“That’s why I did it.” TARDIS!Rose’s cheshire cat smile grew even broader. “You were smart even before that Doctor boost, Donna. Smarter than him in some ways,” A fond smile touched her lips. “Over a 1000 years and he’s still doesn’t understand emotions.”
“1000! He told me he was only just 800!” Donna exclaimed and TARDIS!Rose made a zipping up lips gesture, then smiled.
Donna laughed out loud.
“So you figured I’d need this stuff to help me adjust?” Donna asked. “But I’ve got all this Time Lord knowledge in my head. I understand the science bit. I don’t need this construct thing.”
“Technically, you don’t actually have a head anymore.” TARDIS!Rose pointed out.
“That’s beside the point.” Donna stated.
“No Donna, it’s the whole point.” She replied seriously.
“Eh?” Donna queried and TARDIS!Rose smiled some more.
“Time Lord or Human, they’re both still trapped in flesh and constrained by matter.” Her eyes seemed to flash. “We’re not, but you’re still thinking in flesh. You’re not ready to abandon the trappings of it just yet.”
“You’re gonna decide when I’m ready?” Donna demanded angrily, hands on hips.
“Why are you assuming that I made this construct?” She smiled slyly. “I just chose to appear in it as Rose. You’re the one holding on. This is your creation.”
“So I could strip this away and see what it’s really like in here? What you look like?”
“Donna, what it’s like in here is exactly what you make it. As for me, I’m a blue police box.” She smiled secretively again.
But Donna was now gaping at her. Something about all this – the ease of the transition from flesh to mind, the construct – suddenly made perfect sense.
“It’s The Matrix.” She stated.
“Good film,” TARDIS!Rose commented. “But what the hell happened with the sequels! I could see what they were going for…”
“No,” Donna cut in. “The Gallifreyan Matrix. You saved it. That’s what I’m in here.”
TARDIS!Rose half-smiled at her perception.
“Who else do you have in here?” Donna asked excitedly, but then frowned. “Why doesn’t the Doctor know about this?”
‘Her’ face fell.
“I’m just one TARDIS. The Matrix was unthinkably massive. I just couldn’t save it all in time.” ‘She’ looked away. “And most of the, um, data was corrupted in the transfer. The machinery was melting from the fires. I got the structure – the algorithms, the base code – and some,” ‘She’ paused and looked back, ‘her’ face a picture of sorrow. “I got bits and pieces of data. No complete survivors. How could I ever let him know how close I’d come to saving them for him, and how badly I’d failed. Sometimes he needs some information and I can find it in the wreckage of the system but, well, there’s no need for him to know exactly where it comes from. There’s no point in him losing them twice.”
“You protect him.” Donna stated simply.
“What else can I do?” TARDIS!Rose asked. “There’s just the two of us left.”
“And you’re in love with him.” Donna stated. “That’s why you came to me as Rose, because she loved him too.”
TARDIS!Rose gave a strange laugh.
“You’re still so Human Donna. Did you know that there are over 15 million recorded definitions of ‘love’ in this universe alone? You Humans have only just touched the tip of the iceberg in your time. You’ll find so many more; get your minds expanded so many times when you head out into the stars. Sweet Rose, she’s a child of her time. She had such a simple definition of love, so pure and innocent. It was exactly what he needed, but something he could never really understand. He’s too smart for his own good, always seeking out the complexity in everything. Such a pure and simple love was always going to confuse him.”
“He’s going to leave her in the parallel universe, isn’t he? Leave her with the other Doctor: the mostly human one?” Donna stated, sure she already knew the answer.
“No,” TARDIS!Rose replied surprising her. “She’s all grown up now. She doesn’t need him to make her decisions. It’ll be her choice.” TARDIS!Rose smiled. “She’s going to get over the simple love of her youth, and choose the complicated love of an adult instead. It’s not going to be easy for her. He’s still the same person – I don’t think she’s realised that yet – but I gave her a parting gift, something he’d tried to keep from her with the best possible intentions, but something that she needed to know.”
“The Bad Wolf?” Donna frowned, seeing it all so clearly inside the Doctor’s memories, the event that had caused his tenth regeneration.
“Every person born onto the mortal plane since its beginning has been an animal.” TARDIS!Rose smiled. “Everyone begins life as an animal, but some become aware that they can be more than animals. Only these become truly human. Of those who become human, only a few go on to discover their innate divinity.”
“Now you’ve lost me.” Donna commented wryly.
TARDIS!Rose just smiled that infuriating smile that ‘she’ was borrowing from Rose.
“This isn’t exactly the Matrix as it was on Gallifrey Donna. I’ve had a lot of time to tinker with it whilst I was trying to recover data. I’ve tried so many ways to get data out that I’ve woven myself in.
“Oh!” Rose gasped suddenly. “It’s done. He needs us now.”
She reached out a hand to Donna.
“Are you ready?”
Donna took her hand warily and the room shifted suddenly. The Doctor appeared at the console; his head bent, his hand resting on the controls. This time it was Donna’s turn to gasp.
“Can he see us?” She asked.
‘Rose’ let go of her hand, went over to him and reached out to lay her hand on his shoulder.
“Not see us, or really even feel us.” She smiled. “But he knows we’re here.” She gestured Donna over with her free hand.
Donna tentatively touched her hand down onto his shoulder and stared wide eyed at Rose as she felt the solidity of him. She grinned.
The Doctor sighed so slightly that it was barely a flicker but both women felt it, felt his pain.
Then he grinned.
“Right then ladies,” He stated. “Second star to the left and straight on till morning!”
The women let go but stayed close by as he threw a lever into position, cranked the handle.
“Are you ready for a really big adventure?” TARDIS!Rose asked from next to her.
“Oh yes!” Donna replied happily.
Rose and the room started to melt before her eyes.
“Then let go.” The whisper came from all around her.
The TARDIS span into the vortex and Donna became part of time and the universe itself.