Audible

“For so long I was expecting there to be a big, heart wrenching scene where we’d sit down and talk it all through. For a while there, a long time ago now, I tried to make it happen. In the end though I think we were just too grateful to have finally found each other that there didn’t seem any point in raking over the past like that.

For all that we can talk – and boy, can we talk – neither of us are that good at talking about our feelings for each other. Perhaps there were too many years when we denied them outright, even to ourselves, to be able to find words to properly express them now. Or maybe we’re both not really the type for indulging in that kind of obvious sentimentality in any way that isn’t intentionally ironic.

Either way, our relationship has always been more show than tell.

We were too good as friends, and we held on to that so hard. For a long time that worked out too well for us to be anything more than that. How could we risk losing each other by changing the terms? We didn’t even realise that we’d always been more than that. We’d been telling each other how we really felt for years, in almost every way that really mattered.

It was only once we’d lost each other – when we’d managed to destroy our friendship – that we started properly seeing each other. It’s as if we had to break down every good thing we’d had, so we could start out all over again.

He told me a few times that I have terrible taste in men, and, well, I guess he was sort of right about that. A mono-maniacal political genius, with the emotional maturity of a fifteen year old and the balance skills of a two-legged milking stool. It may not be everyone’s dream but, apparently, it’s mine.

He often needs me in a practical way far more than I need him… but I do need him, for so many things.”

Donna smiled down at baby David in her arms. He stared, wide eyed, up at her, as if he was fascinated by what she was saying. She stroked his hair back.

“For nearly a decade your father and I never needed to say I love you. We still don’t. We tell each other, in every way, every day, in everything we do for each other. And now we have you and, I promise, you’ll see it. We’ll show you what love is every day. We’ll teach you to recognise love when it’s right in front of you and we’ll teach you to be brave… so you never repeat our mistakes.”

She bent down and kissed his forehead.

“Bed time my beautiful.”

Donna stood and placed the baby into his crib. She looked down at him for another minute, then left the room and softly closed the door.

—

Walking into the front room Donna found Josh sitting on the couch with his elbows resting on his knees. The baby monitor was on the table in front of him. Upstairs, David was laughing.

As Josh looked up at her she realised that he’d been listening.

“How long have you been home?” She asked warily.

“I came in somewhere around ‘a big, heart wrenching scene’.” He admitted casually as he stood up to face her. He turned back to the table and picked something up. “I brought you this,” He handed her a coffee cup and a paper bag. “To make up for being so late.”

She smiled as she took them. She didn’t need to look into the bag to know it was a muffin.

“Josh…” She began softly.

“Me too.” He cut in, dipping his head. “All of it.” He looked up at her.

He walked over and took her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him carefully, so as not to spill the coffee. They both closed their eyes.

“Especially the last part.” He said into her hair.

After a moment he pulled back.

“A two-legged milking stool?!” He demanded.

 “I also called you immature.” She smiled sweetly.

“Donna!” He whined letting go of her.

“I rest my case.” She said dryly, before taking a sip of the coffee. She pulled a face. “This is cold. Have you eaten?”

He looked perplexed by the segue. He took the coffee off her.

“Margaret brought me a sandwich.” He replied dismissively, and took a sip. He pulled a face too and put it down on the table.

“And how many hours ago was that?” She put the hand holding the paper bag on her hip and looked at him questioningly.

“A few.” He admitted.

She rolled her eyes and headed out of the room, towards the kitchen.

“I’ll see what I can find.” She said.

“I can just get take out.” He said, following her.

“You did that yesterday.” She replied over her shoulder. “We do have actual food in the refrigerator.”

“It’s not as good.” He complained.

She rounded on him.

“Are you putting down my cooking?”

“Do you really think I have balance problems?”

“You do fall down a lot.”

“Your cooking’s really good.”

“You’re sweet.”

“You’re amazing.” Pause. “Donna! What’re you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“What about the food?”

“Dinner’s on me.”

“We’re having take out then..?”

“No Joshua, dinner tonight will be on me.”

“Oh! Oh. Okay!”

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