A Reason Not To Sleep

Mulder looked down at his neatly made bed.  The apartment was cold, but that was not why a shiver of dread ran down his spine.  Something that he couldn’t explain stopped him from lifting the covers and climbing inside.  He turned his eyes to the closet and felt a memory pull at him, but couldn’t place it.  Must be a very old memory.  Maybe – oh yes – now he remembered – hiding in the closet.  Not sure why.  Hiding from one of his parents infrequent rows?  No use..couldn’t place it.  Not a surprise – he couldn’t remember a lot of things from his childhood. 

Letting out a breaking sigh, he ran a hand through his hair and spun on his heel.  He walked back out into the front room.  The couch beckoned.  Sleep came slowly.

( ——-X——- )

It is cold. 

Colder than it should be. 

He pulls the covers tighter.

The cold he feels is on the inside. 

The night is quiet. 

Quieter than it should be. 

Or so it seems to Mulder. 

He wants to put his hands over his ears.

To blot out the silence.

He moves in the bed until his back touches the wall. 

A finger of dread dances it’s way up his spine.

Fear grips him. 

It always does. 

Lying in bed scares him. 

It is nothing specific. 

Nothing easily explained. 

A light blinks on in the hallway. 

It spills around the bedroom door.

Fear.

Footsteps tapping their way past his room. 

A figure stops by the door. 

Shadows lengthened by the light. 

Fear.

He backs up further.

There is no where to go. 

He lifts the covers over his head. 

Hiding will do no good.

Or so his mind informs him from nowhere. 

Fear.

It comes in the night.

It always gets you.

Fear.

The light clicks off. 

The footsteps march on past. 

A door opens further down the hall. 

It closes with a light thump.

Safe for now.

Sleep still a stranger. 

His mind whirls with confusion. 

He doesn’t know why he is afraid. 

He lifts the covers away from his face. 

They were suffocating him. 

Paranoia lingers.

The air is cool and still. 

Shivers race along his spine. 

He buries his back into the mattress. 

Must keep his back against the mattress.

Press up to the wall. 

Then he’ll see them coming. 

Safer like that.

The gap in the drapes shows the stars.

Wonder mingles with fear.

Memories threaten but cannot be retrieved.

His sister’s laughter haunts him.

Fear intensifies.

His eyes dart around in the darkness.

Why is he so scared?

His ears begin ringing.

White noise.

Bright light building up from nowhere. 

Around the window.

Around the door.

Then he remembers.

Memory’s like a bullet.

Shooting pains in his head.

They’ve come for him.

He’ll get to see his sister.

But he doesn’t want to go.

He wants to run.

Must hide.

Closet seems miles away.

He tries to stand.

His body betrays him.

The alien bed traps him.

Paralysis.

Figures appear.

Dark shapes moving.

Forms around him in the room.

Too much light.

Can’t close his eyes.

Body wont work.

Odd sensations.

Weightless.

Floating upwards.

Wanting to scream.

Scream for parents.

Scream for friends.

Can’t.

Can’t scream.

No parents come.

No friends to help him.

Betrayal.

No one helps.

Alone.

Carried into the light.

Moving up.

Up.

Up.

Up.

Pain.

Intense pain.

Fear.

Betrayal.

( ——-X——- )

Mulder awoke.  He couldn’t remember the dream.  He was perspiring.  Vest and boxers wringing wet.  He forced himself to stand and headed for the bathroom.  He washed his face.  Dried himself.  His movements were automatic.  His brain felt numb.  He returned to the front room. 

Bright light filled the room as a car sweep past outside.  The headlights traced a pattern over the ceiling.  Mulder jumped and covered his eyes.  The sudden fear shocking him out of the post-dream stupor.  Then the car was gone and the room was dark once more. 

Mulder didn’t remember the dream, but he wouldn’t sleep anymore tonight.  He lay down. 

Back must press into the couch.

Sharp eyes scan the room.

Nowhere to hide.

No one to trust. 

Stay awake. 

Safer that way.